biography
-- but this story is not about her --
still beulah wanted a boy. she wanted to give her husband a son, felt it was part of her duty as a wife. they tried for a long time, the anguish of failing again and again tore holes into their marriage. small at first, then bigger and bigger. seven years into their marriage, robert was born. a child that was all him, from the dark curls to the angular features that looked too sharp on a baby. but it was too late. a week after robert was born, he left them, disappeared into the night, suitcase full of church funds and hand in hand with a young parishioner. the shame of it came close to breaking beulah again but, when she needed it most, He came to her and saved her. she would not fail Him again because suicide was a sin. with the little bit of savings she had, beulah moved her two small children out of town, away from the whispers and the stares, to a large, rundown farm miles away. after all, hard work was the backbone of faith.
bobby did not have an unhappy childhood. while his mother was devout and strict, she was also caring and loving in her own way. it was a fine line to walk. life on the farm was monotonous but structured. there was always work to be done, and for a little kid, it felt never ending. as far out of town as they were, bobby didn't have much by way of social interactions so he spent a lot of the time in his own head. the oppressive nature of beulah's faith left little room for fantasy which in turn fueled bobby's curiosity about the world at large. his only respite was their weekly trips into town for supplies and church. he took every chance he had on these trips to visit the local library and quench his thirst for knowledge, cultivating a deep seated desire for escape and adventure. initially homeschooled by beulah, bobby eventually convinced her to enroll them in public school,
the decision to leave for university was fought over a period of weeks, vacillating between quiet and tense to angry and dramatic, mostly on bobby's part. he was adamant on leaving, beulah refusing to budge on her stance. there was nothing he could learn at university that she and the Lord couldn't teach. bobby was tired of living under religion's oppressive thumb - and he said so, again and again. eventually beulah gave in, if only because she didn't have a choice. bobby made it clear that he would go whether she allowed it or not. he was eighteen and she couldn't stop him. the morning of his departure was a quiet one. beulah had refused to see him off, the weight of her disapproval standing in her stead instead. bobby didn't speak to his mother for the first two years of college.
as hard as it was, bobby knew he had made the right choice. college was eyeopening. it was culture shock in the very best way. he threw himself into the experience of it headfirst; new people and new places. it was a city of options, something he's never had before. the academics of college became an afterthought, he only did the bare minimum to coast through on his scholarships, preferring to alternatively focus his attention of adventure and experiences. when he finally returned home to speak to his mother after two years away, it was to come out. the fight that ensued swallowed up another two years, though he didn't necessarily mind.
bobby had worked all through college, saving away any extra money he had so that once it was over, he could support himself and remain in the city instead of returning home. it was hard but he was no stranger to hard work.
graduation signaled the end of an era. he was distraught through the entire ceremony, both saddened with the thought of saying goodbye but also anxious about the next chapter of his life. thankfully, a job right out of the gate landed in his lap ensuring that he could stay in the city. he might be of lapsed faith but sometimes, in the quiet end of the day, he said a little prayer of thanks, acknowledging that he still believed. at least a little bit
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